... And the Rambler Rambles!

It has been a year since I blogged... and thats a huge gap. In the last year I have blogged, but it has been Auto Blogging(bloggin when I am in the auto, aftr all im not called auto rani for nothing) or rather Mind Blogging. Ive blogged about leches, about being with someone without having to say I love you(like thats the ticket to all thats legitimate in a relationship), The Mess outside my house (btw the flyover got inaugurated on my birthday - though unnecessary nevertheless, felt like the queen of my lane- it was all lit up and Road Blocks etc etc... all jazz of babudom) But I have'nt put my thoughts down, there are things I have found amusing and issues that I have felt about but No... I have not been prompted to put my thoughts down

Considering a year has passed I decided that I would look back on this year... and as I see it, It has been a GREAT year!



I fell really sick... Got Typhoid Sat at home for a month...had a nurse to look after me (hee hee hee... that was funny), recovered after busting my butt with injections twice a day for a week... morning evening.. morning evening But as a friend remarked the other day, its like that washed away everything negative and bad in my life... thoughts, attitude, physically and that seems true! I got rid of smokey evils... I travelled abroad twice! Spoke my mind, Stopped bothering whether people liked me or not or I was offending them (ok that just makes me sound like a mean bitch, but what i mean is that if I did not like something, I did not feel the need to be polite, but actually told people that I did not like it... IVe not got there completely but Im getting there .. I still battle with shutting off when I dont know what to say and wish the issue would just dissapear but it does not and then I have to tackle it anyway later,) Shopped a lot, Lost weight, Discovered that I can do a really good imitation of Lataji and a so so one of Hemaji, Got Older,Was Emotionally independant, Made some great friends, Got back to doing what I Like best Career Wise, Rediscovered Music and Movies and Reading, Ran Marathons... All of that on my own, by myself, of course with a few good friends This was a great year and it was about ME !!! And I loved it...





I think what I liked about this year was, I realised that I have two anchors one was a phantom and one was just myself. The phantom was what i cuddled into, when I felt weak or down, but I did not feel that either these last few months.So, I did hold on to my phantom, and shared good moments with it rather than bleak ones and my phantom would have been happy to see me like this, I am sure.



Ive felt rejuvenated, great and I like the person I am now, more than what I was two years back. I guess thats because I have been able to be my own anchor, and that felt independant and good. Here I speak emotionally. Yes, Im still dependant on my family for certain things and I like it that way, I dont understand the funda of pushing oneself in harsh conditions to get a taste of life and become stronger, thats not my choice. I like my comfort and I like my sense of security, which comes from my family. I would rather I had these essentials from them and not from people who can just walk away. That would just be stupid on my part & very silly.



Ok the last sentence sounded cynical... but its okay, im not that much of a fairy tale princess in my head. As I write this, there is no other thought in my head except that Im satisfied, content and very happy, and yes the die hard romantic in me that lives peeps out once in a while... though I would make fun of her and say she is silly,and have a good laugh, but yes she does exist somewhere I guess, but she doesnt trouble me too much, nor does she yearn for Love... but on one of those days when she feels Like Time is running by, and everyone around seems to have found love and also made babies.. I sing this song to her... Ok people who know me, know I cannot sing to save my life... So I play it for her... and honestly If I practiced i could SING!!!





I need love, loveTo ease my mind

I need to find, find someone to call mine

But mama saidYou can't hurry love

No, you just have to wait

She said love don't come easy

It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love

No, you just have to wait

You got to trust, give it time

No matter how long it takes



But how many heartachesMust I stand

before I find a loveTo let me live again

Right now the only thingThat keeps me hangin' on

When I feel my strength, yeahIt's almost gone

I remember mama said:



No I can't bear to live my life alone

I grow impatient for a love to call my own

But when I feel that I, I can't go on

These precious words keeps me hangin' on

I remember mama said:



You can't hurry loveNo, you just have to wait

She said love don't come easyIt's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love

No, you just have to wait

She said trust, give it timeNo matter how long it takes

No, love, love, don't come easy

But I keep on waiting

Anticipating for that soft voiceTo talk to me at night

For some tender armsTo hold me tight



I keep waitingI keep on waiting

But it ain't easyIt ain't easy

But mama said:You can't hurry loveNo,

you just have to wait

She said to trust, give it timeNo matter how long it takes

You can't hurry loveNo, you just have to wait

She said love don't come easyIt's a game of give and take