Of Polite Smiles and Weak Links

You see a familiar face, ur all smiles - they are all smiles... and then comes the question - "So whats Up" ? You say things are fine, going good and you reciprocate and pat comes a similar reply unless theres something they really want to brag about to you and they start talking about it.

So whats happening ? is a question im begining to hate... (ok hate is a strong word but detest... ok thats still strong ... but i hope whoever is reading this can understand what I mean.) from people, especially those you have not been in touch with for a long time and suddenly see... my general answer goes "Nothing much... works good... life is fine" ... I mean it is as mundane and mechanical as a " How are u ?" and not even bothering to wait for the response. Not like im going to come out with problems with my maid, at work or the hot new dress i bought, or my new crush.



I mean yes... people who matter to you, and those who you want to share the most stupidest of details in your life like what u had for lunch, or what you bought or something silly your excited by, or really pissed off about - you would call and tell them about it - and they kind of know whats happening in your life - i personally find the lull like a cavity and very uncomfortable as you just continue smiling and being your polite best !!!



I guess what really irratates is the compulsive need to make Small Talk... Why should one do it at all is beyond me. I can never tell someone "We must catch up sometime" if I dont mean it, and if I do say it, I would at least take the effort to do the same.

There are several friends that I have gotten in touch with, in the last year and a half through the orkuts and the facebooks of the world & people you bump into and ive realised that - thats where the conversation ends. Apart from the really good friends you have had and not been in touch with, but i guess for them you dont need an orkut or facebook. After the initial thrill of discovery and comparing notes its a lull after that. Because if the connection had been there then you may have been in touch already anyway.

But I guess thats the thing about relationships, every relationship- whether it be family, friends, a romantic one, they are all very consuming and somewhere I think each relationship takes a part of you - which you want to give willingly, those are relationships that stand the test of time, arguements and distance.

Also relationships that are based solely on what one gives to the other - emotionally, physically and socially have weak links. All relationships have their baggage and expectations, its impossible to have relationships without that. For instance you want your friend to hang out with you, You want to talk to them about something, You father wants you to be a "good" daughter, you want to marry your boy friend.

The danger is when the "expectations" supercede and become bigger than anything else in the relationship - the relationship becomes very weak. Because its strongest link is the expectation and that is in fact the Weakest Link- so one can imagine how strong a relationship like that can be! That is the weakest kind of relationship, and at some level a very motive or cause oriented relationship and though we have our shares of these kind of relationships, these are not the kind that stand the test of time or something that you miss or add value to your life. They are lost when the expectation is not met and everyone moves on - searching for other causes and motives forming more and more weak links.

The trick is to let any relationship chart its own course, and it is of course about give and take, as long as there is joy in giving and that much joy in taking, one only has to be aware of the weakest link... if its your strongest link then even if that relationship doesnt exist in your life - then it will translate in to the "Polite Smile - Whats Up" relationship and we dont really care about that ... do we ?